OK, I rarely use this forum to rant about things, especially of a personal nature. But I cannot help myself today. As you all know, I dabble in the art of internet dating from time to time. I had taken a break from it over the last few months, but recently have been thinking about getting back into the ring.
Sure, I’ve heard horror stories. And while I have had a few unpleasant experiences myself, I can’t say they outweigh my unpleasant dating experiences with guys I met offline. Dating, in general, can just be unpleasant no matter where you meet someone. So, off to the races we go.
I have tentatively posted a profile back online…new pics, new text, new headers. I thought that might give me some good karma*.
One of my pet peeves is when someone tries to read too deeply into what you have revealed of yourself in your profile. Even worse is when they make absolutely inaccurate observations. Exhibit A:
So you sound like a lot of fun, and seem to have been involved in many adventures and fun events! You have a great smile, it seems to show that awkward, maybe sometimes lonely, but rebelious young woman inside. My guess, most who know you, don’t relly know you! My question would be is that intentional on your part? or do they simply lack the ability to see who is really there?
Buddy- give me a fucking break. Do you really claim to see a lonely yet rebellious young woman inside my smile? Does he really expect me to respond by saying, “Oh Yes! You can SO like totally see inside my soul. People don’t know the REAL me, but I like really want YOU to know me. I beg of you, save me from my lonely and awkward self” Please.
But what happened last night takes the cake. I read a post online. I liked it, it sounded sincere and honest to me**. So I sent a well crafted, witty yet not sarcastic, sincere response of an accurate length (not too wordy, not to brief). He responded immediately. Asked if I wouldn’t mind a quick chat rather than exchanging a million emails. Sure, why not? I was feeling bold.*** We started that horribly awkward chat on the phone. Isn’t it SO strange to talk to someone on the phone that you don’t know at all? So this is how it went:
Jerkface: So, what inspired you to respond to my profile?
Me: Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t ever responded to one before****. I guess just whim and whimsy.
Jerkface: Anything else?
Me: Ummm. I liked how you describe yourself, that you have a sense of humor and are close to your family. You sounded sincere. I think I am the same way.
Jerkface: So, you are looking for someone to take care of you financially? I own a few real estate companies in the city.
Me: What? Well, no. I am pretty independent [he did say he was looking for an independent girl], I am financially stable on my own. I mean, I think generosity is a valuable character trait, but I like to be as giving and generous to the person I am with as they are with me. But I don’t think I need a – (interrupted)
Jerkface: goodnight. *click*
What? Are you kidding me? He hung up on me! I sat there for a second with phone in hand just staring at it. Incredible! I was fired up and immediately called V. who only laughed at me and asked, “what do you expect?”. So, this is what I should expect? Should I lower my expectations to the point where any man who exhibits any base act of kindness and manners is heralded as though he is the King of Redemption? I can’t do that. I don’t think I should either. I guess that means I have to live with the consequences of believing that most people have good intentions [gentleman from exhibit A is excluded]. Call me naive. Call me stupid. Call me unrealistic. But don’t call me cynical, bitter, or resigned… Yet.
*actually, I thought that might attract people who have mistakenly looked me over in my previous attempts.
** a second reading in the light of day has revealed otherwise.
*** Or something.
**** True…for that particular site