Confession

Everyday I walk by the Parson’s New School for Design and have this fantasy:

Scene: Terra walks quickly down 7th Avenue on her way home from a busy day at the office. As usual, she is wearing a boring suit with comfortable commute-worthy footwear, her naturally wavy hair has gone frizzy, and her make-up that was so carefully applied this morning has melted away leaving her complexion colorless.

Man on Street: (yelling at crowd)… After all you’re all just one paycheck away from being homeless!

Terra: (muttering to self) Ain’t that the truth buddy.

Terra: (says to tourists in the way) Excuse me, sorry, um, pardon me. Can you move out of the way please? No, I don’t have time to take your picture right now. I am late for the train.

While Terra waits at the crosswalk she is approached guerrilla-style by a dapper gentleman with grey hair and rimless glasses and a small friendly camera crew.

Dapper Gentleman: Miss Walker?

Terra: (Surprised) What? I mean, Yes, that’s me? (eyes widen with recognition). Oh My God. You’re… You’re…. You’re…

(Dapper gentleman smiles and laughs)

Terra: … TIM GUNN!

Tim: Terra, as you are surely aware, we are filming our new season of Project Runway and we need your help in our next challenge called “Everyday Woman”. We are picking women of the street to participate as our models instead of the gang of gloomy waifs we usually use. Can you help one of our designers to make this work?

Terra: Why, Yes! Yes, I can do that!

(Video montage set to the song Can’t Get You Outta My Head by Kylie Minogue shows Terra meeting her hot designer, Raul… Terra nodding enthusiastically at the sky blue fabric he has chosen to use for the dress… Tim Gunn looking Raul’s shoulder as he sews pieces together clapping approvingly… Terra getting hair and makeup done by the Loreal professionals… cut to Runway Judges critiquing the various designer’s outfits)

Heidi Klum: (Heidi glowing and gorgeous as always) Raul, I must say you were truly inspired today. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! I would wear that dress out to a Gala Event with my wonderful husband Seal and our strangely adorable children. It looks so expensive even though you created it with the budget of $5.00 we gave you!

Elle Fashion Director Nina Garcia: (gushing) Raul, you have outdone yourself once again, though I have to give credit to Miss Walker for carrying off this masterpiece so well. She really worked it! Doesn’t my hair look great? I got it blown out twice today.

Michael Kors: I copy my designs from other people’s works.

Heidi: Why..um..Oh. Moving on. The winner of this challenge is (beaming) Raul and Terra! Congratulations to the both of you. (Air kisses all around)

OK, so, it’s kind of a long walk that gives me plenty of time for elaborate Project Runway fantasies. I love that Tim Gunn.

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