Deuce

This week Damir and I briefly marked the 2 year anniversary of when we first met. It went something like this:

Terra: Didn’t we meet around this time of year?

Damir: Um, yeah, end of April

I actually had to check the blog archive to get the right date (for the record, April 21st). We’ve never been ones to celebrate each passing month or keep track of any particular anniversary. I guess we will if we get married, but that seems like a different ball of wax.

We ended up at the scene of our first encounter briefly for a beer last night. We had a kiss to mark the spot and that was good enough for me.

What’s For Sale

So did you know that the government is selling all kinds of STUFF? Check this out: http://www.govsales.gov/html/index.htm

Sure, I knew they sold land and the odd car and truck, but I had no idea they were unloading clothes, computers and a box of this stuff:

The above box o’ tronics can be found under “Communication and Detection Devices” and is up for auction for a current bid of just $62.00. I don’t know about you, but I call that a bargain. I was disappointed I couldn’t find a 1950’s style listening device or something Spy worthy. Alas.

But if you think that’s the BEST bargain running on the site, you’d be wrong. Check this out (you might have to click on it to get the full effect of what is being sold:

Yes, folks. That really does say “ONE LOT OF TISSUES; USED”. Find it under the category:

Posted in WTF

Back on the W.

Oh Lordy. Watch out!

I decided to go back on the Weight Watchers. Ugh. Boring! Today I went to my first meeting and I couldn’t help but think that SNL should do a skit on this place. A group of mostly older women (its a Monday, so the attendees are mostly retirees) in their velour track suits and big hair dying to talk about Their Story… how they were once skinny….then had kids and got fat… then lost the weight…and now in their older years they’ve gained it all back again, punctuated by the odd hip replacement story or two.

But, it’s all good. I applaud their effort, and in relation, mine as well. I have already apologized in advance to poor Damir to whom I am surely going to be a complete bitch once the hunger pangs and french-fry withdrawal take control of all my rational thought.

Speaking of poor Damir, he has some kind of tooth trauma going on that has one side of his face swollen nearly to the point of shutting an eye. I am home from work and about to take him to the oral surgeon, he definitely can’t drive himself. That means we can kiss another couple of grand away, as certainly there is a root canal in his near future (his second in 4 months). Thanks healthcare for covering all the bases!

BUT GOOD NEWS: we finally bought a new mattress! It was a struggle, holy hell in a handbasket. We trolled all the usual places before finding an area in Long Island City where there are 3 or 4 mattress warehouses all in a row. They are pretty competitive with each other, so negotiating was like cutting butter with a hot knife. We ended up with a Serta Mattress by Vera Wang (yes, the wedding dress designer), Sweet Slumber, Sweet Comfort version (long enough name for ya?) for about $500… normal retail price is $3870. It was on clearance so we get no return policy or warranty so we damn well better like it. It’s a latex mattress, and oh-so-pretty its a shame to put sheets on it. But there you go, hopefully we’ll sleep better.

April Fools…Right?

GMail announced a new feature today: the ability to custom date your email. Need your email to show in the recipients box as read and sent 4 days ago? No Problem!

Read More:
http://mail.google.com/mail/help/customtime/index.html

Testimonials from Beta Testers (hilarious):

Beta User Testimonials

“The entire concept of ‘late’ no longer exists for me. That’s pretty cool. Thanks Gmail!”

Miriam S., Delivery girl

“I just got two tickets to Radiohead by being the ‘first’ to respond to a co-worker’s ‘first-come, first-serve’ email. Someone else had already won them, but I told everyone to check their inboxes again. Everyone sort of knows I used Custom Time on this one, but I’m denying it.”

Robby S., Paralegal

“This feature allows people to manipulate and mislead people with falsified time data. Time is a sacred truth that should never be tampered with.”

Michael L., Epistemology Professor

“I used to be an honest person; but now I don’t have to be. It’s just so much easier this way. I’ve gained a lot of productivity by not having to think about doing the ‘right’ thing.”

Todd J., Investment Banker

This is a great April Fools Joke…. Right?

Posted in WTF