The Dimishing Light


I am already in a panic in anticipation of November 2nd, when we turn our clocks back, and sun will be set by 4:49pm. Damn, that’s early.

I can’t believe it has taken me this long to figure it out, but I think I have seasonal affective disorder. As soon as the light starts to go, I get so lethargic, crave carbs, and just want to sleep. Oh, and I turn into a werewolf bitch. Well, not really a bitch, I just get very sullen, and tend to withdraw from friends and family. My focus turns inward, picking at all the imperfections in me and my life. And when I get bored of picking at myself, I tend to pick on poor Damir. He is a saint though, and manages it (me) with grace, patience and love.

Looking back, this has been going on for years, and I find it pretty incredible I never picked up on the pattern, or at least took the possibility seriously. The problem is that once I hit that slide, it is really hard for me to bounce back into my happy-go-lucky self once spring arrives. Some years I have been more successful than others. Other years have been…well. Readers who know me in “real life” know what happens.

I think living on Long Island compounds this somewhat. In the summer we have the beautiful beaches, which give us endless days of relaxation and happiness. In the winter we have… the mall? I don’t like to spend too much of my weekend days cooped up at home, but wintertime provides few diversions.

My research says I should sit in front of some kind of light box for like an hour a day. Who has time for that? I see some faux sunlight lamps on sale at amazon.com, but they seem like a scam. Does anyone have any experience with this? Send advice please.

One thought on “The Dimishing Light

  1. An ex of mine swears by vitamin D lightbulbs. His “discovery” of them coincides with his quitting smoking, so I’m not sure which (maybe both) affected this, but his mood has been much more consistent and positive since then (several years ago).

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