How to Disconnect?

I am ashamed to admit that on my honeymoon- yes, my HONEYMOON– I struggled to disconnect from the world…my job, social networks, incoming emails. There was no wifi in the (stunning) rooms and to connect I had to go to a small dark windowless office off the hotel lobby to log in to the resort’s guest computer.  I sat in that little room more than I would like to admit. I hate being disconnected.

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Would you choose email over this scene?

On my daily commute there is a period of my train ride, oh about 8 minutes or so long, where we are under the East River and have no cellular connection. And of course there’s no wifi on the Long Island Rail Road (one can dream that someday…).  Even for this short period of time I get anxious. Not about the thousands of pounds of water just a few feet over my head but because I can’t see what’s going on. For 8 minutes I can’t just sit and relax with my own thoughts to entertain me.

My name is Terra, and I am an addict. For real.

The first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do (before kissing my sweets goodnight) is something digital. Check my email. See who pinged me on Facebook. See what tweets have come through or what breaking news is happening . While this is a great trait to find in a social media manager, it’s not perhaps very nice to be married to. Or the child of.

The reality is I love what I do, I enjoy it. I like to think I am pretty good at it too, which makes it all the more fun. So now, as the time is quickly approaching for me to shift gears for a little while to focus on the little one about to burst from my loins, I am starting to feel anxious. Yes, about the regular new-mamma stuff but also about what it will be like to not HAVE to check in to my social streams, emails and network 100 times a day for 12 whole weeks. To not have to worry about this presentation or that conference call. To not be spending my free time thinking about my projects and strategies. I think it’s going to be really hard to make that shift.

When I recently suggested to my boss that I set up a weekly call with the contractor coming in to handle my tasks while on maternity leave he quickly said, “No. Enjoy this time. You only get this opportunity once to bond with your baby. Don’t schedule any meetings.” He’s right, as usual, but immediately my heart rate went into overdrive. How will I know what’s happening? This makes me physically uncomfortable. But I am slowly realizing that this is important – the ability to disconnect with the digital and reconnect with the actual is something that I have to learn to do, and learn to enjoy. If I don’t figure out how to do that now, I may miss the good stuff. The real stuff happening right in front of my eyes.

How many days in to my maternity leave will I stop unconsciously reaching for my laptop and cell phone? Any guesses?

The Road to Baby B.

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Sitting here on the couch rubbing the rump of my unborn baby as it pokes into my stomach lining I am contemplating how we got to where we are.

I was never one of those women who like OHMYGODIHAVETOHAVEABABYNOW! I honestly feel like I could have lived out the rest of my childless days feeling content and fulfilled with my life. For the majority of my years if you asked me if I was going to someday be a mother I would probably respond, “Eh. Probably not.” But I wasn’t opposed to babymaking either. I just wasn’t certain it was in the cards. My husband, on the other hand, has serious baby lust. When he encounters a baby he can’t take his eyes off him. He loves to make faces, tell stories and do whatever possible to make a baby smile. I love that about him and didn’t want to deny him the experience of fatherhood. So, at the ripe age of 38, last spring we decided it was now or never and started making preparations  to bring our own little one into our lives:

Step 1:  Quit smoking.

Mission accomplished! After nearly 25 years of smoking I let the bad habit go 0n March 1, 2012. It wasn’t easy, but I attacked my mission with a plan. I gave myself 30 days to get used to the idea and enjoy my last few packs and then on the appointed day I quit. No drugs, no patches. But a round of laser acupuncture to help with the side effects certainly didn’t hurt. I just completed my first-year smoke free and I have to say I am more than a little proud that I’ve made it this far. But I won’t lie to you…. I miss it every day.

Step 2: Get pregnant.

Check! On August 1st I got the big happy smile on the take home test. That night I put the test and a bun in the oven for Damir to discover. Here’s a short look at his reaction to finding out I am pregnant (note: not WE. WE are not pregnant)


Step 3: Figure out how we are going to physically and financially fit a baby into our lives.

This is still being worked on. Our cozy little home is only a large studio and we’ll be living here until at least August when our lease is up. What happens from that point on depends on several variables we still have to work out. Will we move back into our other, larger, apartment where currently my inlaws are living (sans inlaws, naturally)? Will we rent something else a little bigger? Will we just stick it out and stay cozied up where we are cramped but happy? I will have to get back to you on that. The uncertainty is worrying, no… that’s not true. The uncertainty is slowly driving me to the brink of insanity, but I have to blame nesting instincts gone wild for that.

There’s still so much to do and figure out (hello, Daycare?) but I am confident it will all work out. At least that’s the mantra I am repeating to myself day after day.

I’m Getting the Band Back Together!

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What I really mean is: I am bringing my long ignored blog back after a 2-year hiatus!

So, what have you been up to these past two years? So much has happened over here at Interravision! In summary:

  • I got a new job! Since 2011 I have been loving my new career as s Social Media manager at a NYC tech company
  • D. and I moved which means I am no longer sharing my kitchen! The space is our little haven of happiness….for now. But all that might change because….
  • I’m having a baby… SOON!

This seems like a great time to breathe life back into Interravision as my life takes a new dimension. I look forward to sharing my adventures in life and motherhood as I try to do it all – be a great wife, employee and mom all in the same day. How’s that for Mission Impossible?

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