All good things must come to an end. Like maternity leave. After about 13 weeks I went back to work this week and Baby B. was downgraded to day care. It has been a really tough week adjusting to the change of pace for both of us.
I really like the day care we picked and I am confident that baby B is well care for and adored by his care providers. But nothing can replace his mamma….right? RIGHT? Each evening he has come home simply exhausted and a bit fussy, surely from all the extra stimulation he is getting all day long surrounded by other kids and adults. At least that’s the story I am telling myself, and not that he has lost interest in me and Damir and no longer wants to laugh and play with us at home in the evenings.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t yearn to hold him all day long. I do. Thank goodness at least I love my job and the people I work with. If I didn’t, I can’t imagine how I would bear the separation. Though at the same time it’s weird. Back at my old desk in my old routine sometimes its like he never happened. Baby? What baby? Was it just a beautiful dream? I am thankful that it was approved for me to work part of the week at home. I actually get more work done in my quiet space and I get to spend an extra 2 hours a day with the baby that would otherwise be spent commuting to/from the city.
Three months in, I have to report that this whole motherhood thing is so much more than I expected. It is really all-consuming. I have turned in to one of those annoying women who only wants to talk about her angel of a kid. Ask me if he sleeps all night! Ask me how much he eats! Ask me how big he is! I could talk about the little guy all day long. My friends are going to start unfriending me soon from Baby B photo overload BUT I CAN’T STOP MYSELF.